Today was the first big “see you soon” instead of “bye”. Watching you leave for Pakistan at 8 PM hurt and made me proud at the same time. I kept replaying your face in my head the whole way home. The airport, your suitcase, the way you looked back one more time, all of that is stuck in my chest like a movie I never want to stop playing. Even while your plane was in the sky, it still felt like you were sitting right next to me, talking about random things like we always do.
I couldn’t sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, all I could see was you in that plane, somewhere between Melbourne and Beijing. By 2 AM I gave up on trying to sleep and just sat at my computer, refreshing the flight page like a maniac, watching the little plane icon move across the map. Every time the pilot went a bit faster I felt this tiny spark of excitement, like okay, I’m closer to hearing from her again.
When the flight finally landed in Beijing and you still weren’t online, the worry hit. I kept thinking, “What if her eSIM doesn’t work? What if she can’t message me?” I stared at Life360, at the arrival time, at everything — just waiting. And then around 9 AM you finally said “hii”. I swear I actually screamed in relief. My heart dropped back into my chest. Your internet was working. I could talk to you again.
Work was hot and busy and annoying, but your messages softened the whole day. You sent me that mirror picture with Alia and honestly it blessed my eyes so much I nearly cried. I kept sliding between your texts, your photo, and Life360 — watching where you were going, feeling like I was travelling with you from my desk. You were making my whole day easier just by existing on the other side of the world.
We kept messaging until about 5:30 PM, when it was time for your next flight, this time to Islamabad. Another goodbye, another loading bar in the sky — but at least this time I knew your “hii” would find me again when you landed. 💚🍒
As the night went on from 8 PM to 11 PM, I was still glued to the screen watching your flight to Pakistan. I was so excited for you to finally reach your hometown, but at the same time this small fear kept poking at me that once you were there, meeting everyone and being busy, I would not get as much time with you. Even with that fear, I was happy for you. I kept imagining your smiles, your outfits, and all the fun stories that would fill the next two months.
Around 12:30 AM on Wednesday, your flight was supposed to land, but you did not reply. I knew your phone battery was low, but of course my brain still panicked. I searched your flight online, refreshed all the trackers, checked anything I could, just trying to feel closer to you and know you were safe. I missed you so much.
To calm myself down, I opened TikTok and started watching all the videos you had posted, the ones that felt like they were just for me. Seeing your smile again helped me breathe. I even watched one you posted on 30/05/2025, before we ever met. It was about love. I know it was not meant for me back then, but I watched it again and again, pretending it always had been.
By 2 AM I was still awake, still watching, still scrolling through your TikToks. You had told me you wanted to invite your friends to your account, so I was soaking everything in while it still felt like this secret world that only I got to see. I loved that feeling of being the one who knew all your little posts first.
At 4 AM you finally came online and wrote "hi habibi", but I was asleep by then. At 5:30 AM I woke up for Fajr, and the first thing my eyes saw was that message. I cannot even explain how happy I was. You have no idea how much it melts me when you call me habibi.
It was officially the start of your long trip, and I already missed you so much, but even on your first day there, you still made time for me. You told me about breakfast, opening the suitcases, all the little details that make me feel like I am right there with you. Later you told me how you went to your uncle's place and even sent me a voice message. Hearing your voice again is something I always crave. It hurt and healed me at the same time. I love you, I want you, and I am so grateful you still choose to share your day with me, even from so far away.
The day was going perfectly until I did something stupid and took a long nap. That part of the story will be for the next page of our diary. 💚🍒
